Environment of a Soldier
by Ice-Song
Summary: Zim unwillingly finds himself in charge of a personalitiless smeet after he escapes his 'defective' conviction on Irk. He awkwardly tries to teach the young Irken how to live while keeping his ego in tact and Gir out of trouble.
1. Chapter 1

"You will rue the day you met me, stink face!" Zim yelled across the field to where Dib was standing, battle ready. "RUE!"

"Ha!" Dib screamed back, brandishing his own weapon haphazardly at the Irken. "I rue NOTHING space boy! Quite the contrary actually, I was excited when you came! Because it means that the pleasure of being your defeater will be mine!"

Zim skidded to a halt on the field and leveled his own laser weapon at the boy. "Your enormously large head could not even IMAGINE the idea of my defeat, for I am so incredibly great."

Dib lowered his weapon, looking slightly annoyed. "Yes it can. Any my head's not big!" he yelled at Zim.

"Yes it is!" Zim yelled back.

"No it's not!" Dib retorted hotly, bringing up his weapon once again.

"Yes it is!" Zim taunted, baiting Dib rather then actually go after him with his ready weapon.

"No it's not!" Dib growled, taking the bait knowingly. He could just as easily shoot Zim with his invented gun, but to him, annoying Zim always had more appeal to him then actually exchanging blows.

"Yes it is!" Zim paused for a split second before adding, "times infinity!"

"Curses!" Dib growled as Zim used the age-old argument killer.

Zim pumped his fists triumphantly into the air. "Victory for ZIM!" he yelled.

* * *

Zim strode into his house haughtily and allowed Gir and Minimoose to bask in his victorious glory. His robots turned slowly away from the television to look at Zim briefly before turning back to the slow. 

Zim cleared his throat in an obvious vie for attention. Gir and Minimoose did not so much as flinch as Zim crossed his arms and tapped his foot impatiently. Both robots remained entranced with the 'Scary Monkey Show' and did not turn to their master until the end credits began to play. As soon as the show was very much done, both Gir and Minimoose ran at Zim and knocked the poor alien over in a sign of badly placed affection.

"Hey master!" Gir yelled cheerfully in an obnoxious voice. "How wazzit?"

"About time you noticed my AWESOMENESS!" Zim told his silly robots. "That filthy show rots your mind."

Gir cocked his head to the side and blinked his large eyes slowly. "What mind?" he asked in all seriousness.

Zim sighed and shook his head slowly in obvious exasperation. "Never mind," he said dully.

Minimoose floated by Zim's head while the other overly eager robot kept the now grumpy Zim pinned to the ground. The purple moose squeaked once, as if making conversation.

Zim glowed and picked himself up off the ground, pushing Gir off himself in the process. "Why yes," he replied to Minimoose while shoving Gir to the ground. "I did have a very good day. I won an argument against the filthy worm child for the first time this week!" he announced.

Minimoose squeaked in reply to Zim and the Irken narrowed an eye as he squeaked again.

Zim airily waved him off with a swipe of his hand. "Yes, I'm fully aware that it is Friday. Don't let such trivial matters get in the way of my AWESOMELY…AWESOME and AMAZING victory!"

Minimoose squeaked his consent and followed Zim and Gir as they walked to the garbage can. Gir held the lid up as Zim jumped inside and together the two robots canonballed in to follow Zim. Zim yelled at them about jumping on top of him and the respect he deserved as they disappeared into the depths of the base.

"Ooo…" Gir said finally. "Did ya meet the big headed kid?" Gir asked excitedly as they walked through the halls.

Zim nodded, obviously pleased with the day's outcome. "Yes, yes I did. We had an EXTRAORDINARY confrontation of DOOM!" he announced in an exaggerated manner as he held his hands at chest level with the palms up. His fingers were curved in a claw like way as he laughed, giving him an absurdly creepy look.

"Awww, that's nice master," Gir cooed. "Did ya fight or argue?"

Zim paused and shrugged nonchalantly. "We just argued. I need an amazing doom weapon of terror and doom before I try and destroy him. Which I will do, some day. Oh yes," Zim smirked as he tapped the tips of his fingers together. "Someday."

Gir nodded sagely. "I know, master," he told Zim. Then he jumped in the air and waved his limbs haphazardly. "Now what!"

"I was thinking we could go and…" Zim started before he was interrupted by Tallest Red's face appearing on the screen. "My Tallest!" Zim gasped, obviously pleased that his good day was now becoming even better.

Tallest Red winced at Zim's grating greeting but quickly regained his composure. "Zim! We wish for you to return to Irk!" he told the small alien.

Zim faltered for a split second before nodding and inclining his head respectfully. "Yes, my tallest. However my journey will take awhile. Earth is quite the distance from the ALMIGHTY planet Irk."

Tallest Red and Purple exchanged glances and made a silent agreement. "We just want you here," Red said quickly. "No need to bring any equipment."

Zim raised an 'eyebrow' in obvious confusion. "Are you sure?" he asked. "My Voot and information files have data that can be used to finally CONQUER this pathhhhhhhhhe-TIC planet of dirt and filth!"

"It's all right soldier," Red told him. Behind Red, Purple nodded fervently. "Just take a long distance matter transporter and come as you are."

Zim looked slightly put out, but did his best to keep his strong image in front of the Tallest. "Wouldn't that be…" Zim paused. He took in a small breath and waved his hand around in a small circular motion as if physically searching for the right word. "Um, painful?" he asked.

Red and Purple looked at one another and grinned. "Oh yes," Purple said matter-of-factly. "Quite."

Red nodded his agreement. "But! We need to talk to you right away, because this is very important."

Zim looked excited. "Ooooh, really? Does it have to do with my mission?" he asked, clapping his hands lightly.

Red and Purple both nodded. "Yeah, sure, whatever," Purple assured Zim, rather awkwardly.

"Just come here! Red sighed at Zim in exasperation. "Use the matter transporter and get here, now!"

Zim nodded, resolute. "Yes, my Tallest!" he told his leaders and gave them a salute before the screen went blank.

"Think he'll do the transport?" Purple asked.

"Probably," Red replied. "He's completely loyal. He won't disobey a direct order from us," he scoffed as if the idea of an Irken disobeying them was preposterous.

"Think he'll die in the transport?" Purple asked excitedly.

"Only if were lucky," Red muttered, obviously annoyed. "But he probably won't be."

"Darn," Purple pouted to his familiar.

"Don't worry, we'll finish the job," Red reassured the co-leader. "Zim will not get out of being deactivated this time."

Purple threw his hands into the air and cheered like a five year old. "Yay!"

* * *

The matter transporter glowed a bright purple as Zim's form materialized inside. As the dangerous energy beam melted away, the tiny Irken fell to his knees while smoke came off his skin in billows. He took in deep breaths and shook his head in order to get his wits about himself. 

Red and Purple stood by the transporter, looking quite ecstatic at the sight of Zim in pain. "Hello, Zim," Red cooed.

Zim stood up twitching, but looking quite happy, regardless of the pain. He gave the Tallest a quick salute with his hand and winced only once while doing so. "H-hello, my Tallest. I, the almighty Invader Zim, am here are your request."

"So you are," Red replied in a tone usually reserved for talking to five year olds. He then turned his back on Zim and after watching this; Purple opted to mimic him for delayed dramatic effect. "Follow us," Red said slowly, hiding his happy grin from the clueless Zim.

Zim felt a small sense of foreboding, but he quickly shook off his uneasiness for the comfort of his own ego and ran to catch up with his leaders.

Red led him into a large empty room where half of the equipment was shrouded in shadow. Zim looked around and tapped his fingers together. "What is this, my Tallest?" Zim finally asked.

Red nodded to Purple and led the dimwitted Tallest to a tall podium. They stood behind it and many lights suddenly came on, revealing the Control Brain Council behind them. "We're on Irk, Zim. Your Pak won't be able to override the ENTIRE planet," Red explained. "The continuation of your Trial begins now."

* * *

Lard Nar took in a deep breath as he looked at the huge planet below him. He was sitting in the main control chair on the observation deck of his new ship. "Will someone PLEASE remind me why we're doing this again?" 

Spleenk raised a hand guiltily. "Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time," he offered.

Lard Nar sighed and bit his lower lip. "Well, we did not come all this way to turn tail and hide!" he announced heroically. "Get ready to fire at the Irken hatcheries!" he yelled with gusto. "Time to show those scum how serious we Resisty really are!"

There were a few ragged cheers from the crew as Shloonktapooxis hovered above the cannon, ready to fire at the command. Lard Nar narrowed his eyes as he glared at the planet he hated so. Any shred of regret he may have felt was immediately stomped out at the memories of his own people being enslaved by the Irkens. He no longer felt any compassion for any product, living or otherwise, that came from the Empire. "Ready!" he announced. "Aim!" Everyone waited with bated breath as Lard Nar slowly raised a claw into the air and let it fall slowly. "FIRE!"

* * *

I got this idea a few days ago while taking notes for AP US history. I liked it and decided to go with it. I hope everyone managed to stay in character and I hope that they stay that way. Make sure to drop a line! I love reviews and feedback, tell me what I'm doing wrong or what suggestions you may have. 

Also, it's obvious but in case you couldn't tell, this fic takes place after 'The Trial.'


	2. Chapter 2

A few minutes previous, Zim was standing in stunned silence as the Control Brains and the Tallest looked down on him. He smirked cockily in an attempt to assure himself that it was a joke. "T-trial?" he asked and let out a strange laugh. "Please my Tallest, I believe you summoned me for my mission." 

The largest Control Brain had finally had enough of the lowly Irken defect. "Silence!" he yelled angrily. "Irken Zim, you have committed crimes against the Irken Empire that will never be able to be forgiven. The only justice we can do is to shut down your Pak and wipe it clean of every file."

Zim swallowed hard. "But… I have done nothing wrong," he said imploringly. He held out his hands and smiled as his ego twisted the words of the Control Brain to fit his own comfort levels. "I have successfully invaded the pathetic dirt ball known as Earth and am close to claiming it for Irken conquest."

"You are responsible for the death of one of Irk's greatest leaders," the large control brain boomed. "And also responsible for the death of Spork to boot. You've destroyed half of Irk, two satellite planets AND you are responsible for long blackouts that nearly destroyed our society as we knew it," it snarled. "You Zim are a failure at everything Irken. You have filthy emotions and let your worry about yourself get in the way of judging a battle clearly. You also care for your stupid robots, which could compromise any situation you were in. SIR units are expendable tools, not pets to become attached too."

Zim swallowed hard, as everything the Control Brain accused him of sank in slowly. "I…" he said slowly, trying to think of something he could use to defend himself with.

"As such, we will carry out the sentence we ruled last year," it said in a finalized tone. "You, Irken Zim, are condemned to having your Pak removed and deactivated, then wiped of any data it may contain."

"I did nothing wrong!" Zim shouted angrily. "I have been nothing but a loyal soldier since day one of my existence. How can you say that I'm a failure as an Irken?"

Red rolled his eyes and Purple sighed heavily. "You just don't get it, do you Zim?" Red snarled. "Listen to me carefully. We. Don't. Like. You."

Zim stared at then numbly, his brain refusing to accept what was going on around him. "But…" he tried again. "I am ZIM!"

"You are a moron," Purple told the tiny Irken prudely. "So, accept your fate. If you really are as 'loyal' as you claim then you should have no problem with being deactivated for the betterment of the empire."

This was what finally sent Zim into a complete and total shock. He was to give up his life because of his loyalty? But if he was loyal then they should never think about deactivating him in the first place. He was ZIM! He was one of the most superior Irkens to ever grace existence but here he was arguing for his very life, having his own defense used against him.

Did life mean so little to the Irken Empire?

Before Zim could even begin to ponder this question, a loud explosion rocked the planet. Red rushed past the stunned Zim and shoved him rudely to the ground in an effort to get in front of the Control Brains. "What was that?" he snapped.

None of the brains were able to answer the question. But it didn't matter because two seconds later a frantic Irken work drone came into the room shrieking. "The hatcheries! They're destroying the hatcheries!"

Red and Purple stood there in stock silence for a few seconds before Red snapped out of it. "Who?" he snarled.

* * *

A minute prior to the explosion that destroyed the hatchery a small tube with a neutral face on the end lit up and turned into a wide grin. This signified to the computer that the smeet inside was ready to be born and activated.

A pair of robotic arms snaked over and firmly grasped the end of the tube. Another arm grasped the other end and cracked the tube in half, spilling out the smeet inside and a few shards of glass to the floor in a sticky wet mess. Another robotic arm came over to the limp body and poked two holes in the smeet's back, directly into the spine. A split second later a small, purple dotted Pak was attached.

Just as the smeet was shocked into life an explosion ripped through the hatchery.

A small Pak set on default programming sparked to life. Even though the body was not ready for cognitive thought the Pak followed its basic programming and deployed a tiny set of spider legs and formed a shield around the tiny body.

The smeet was blown up the ventilation shaft like a pinball to one of the upper levels in the underground catacombs beneath Irk.

* * *

As soon as the frantic drone came into the room, Zim finally gathered enough of his wits about himself to notice an opportunity when he saw one. Without another word in his defense, he got up and ran out of the trial room as fast as he possibly could. Everyone was so fixated on the drone's news that they didn't even notice Zim steal away into the shadows and escape.

The tiny Irken literally ran for his life, breathing heavily and acting purely on instinct. He was too stunned to even begin to think about what was going on around him so he let his programming merely control his body to get him out of there.

Zim skidded to a halt as he tried to find his way back to the teleporters. He knew it was going to hurt but he needed to get off Irk, and he needed to get off now. He let his Pak sift through his most recent memories to recreate the path that he and the Tallest had taken down to the Trial Room. Usually he wasn't quite so dependent on the device attached to his back but his brain had decided to go on holiday so it was probably for the best.

He finally made his way into the first hallway that he had come down and jumped into the only live teleporter without a second thought. As he materialized on the other side, he could hear loud yells and squeaks. As the light died away he leaned heavily against the framed of the teleporter and sighed. "Gir, Minimoose, what have I told you about coming INTO my lab?" he snarled.

"Master!" Gir yelled cheerfully and pointed down. "Lookit! It's a little you!"

Zim blinked and stepped out of the teleporter. He looked down and saw a tiny, newborn smeet at his feet. He saw tiny curled antennae and small eyelashes that told him that the smeet was a female and he saw that she was wide-awake and burning much like he was. "Ummm…" he said slowly.

The smeet cocked her head and frowned, her large green eyes blank and unknowing. "Hello," she finally said. "Who are you?"

"I AM ZIIIM!" Zim announced, getting a grip on his own reality for the first time in about ten minutes. He glared at Gir and pointed at the confused smeet. "What is THIIIIS?" he asked.

"It's a little you!" Gir said again. "Lookit! She looks like you!"

"Where did she COME FROM?" Zim yelled, forgetting his life changing moment to deal with his current crisis.

"The glowy zappy thing you just came out of!" Gir told Zim then giggled. "She smelled like bacon."

Zim looked slightly grossed out and turned to look at the teleporter. "You survived that?" he asked, looking down at the smeet.

The smeet nodded once. "I did."

Zim sighed. "I'm not going back to Irk. I could just toss you inside…" he said slowly but stopped as the light died off. "Or the other end could cut off," he snarled. "Perfect."

"Aww, it's okay master," Gir said consolingly.

"Okay?" Zim asked. "OKAY? I WAS JUST TOLD THAT MY LIFE IS VOID BECAUSE I'M AN IRKEN AND YOU TELL ME IT'S OKAY?" he roared loudly.

Gir blinked once then nodded. "Yeup! We gotta mini you!"

Zim rubbed his temples and hissed. "Why do I even TRY?" he asked himself. "Why? It's not like you'll ever actually UNDERSTAND anything," he snapped at Gir.

Gir giggled and nodded his head in agreement. "I have no IDEA what you're sayin' master!"

Zim sighed exasperatedly and turned to the smeet who was looking around curiously. "So smeet, what's your name?" he asked.

"I have none," she stated. She turned her attention to Zim and stood stock still.

Zim sighed. "Great, you don't have any information loaded into your Pak. That's… perfect."

"Pak?" she asked.

Zim shook his head and walked over to one of his computers. He pressed a few buttons on the keyboard and a small disk came out of it. "Smeet come here," he ordered without even turning around.

The smeet walked over as Zim pulled the disk out of the computer and turned to meet her. He crossed his arms and did his best to look as authoritative as possible. "Okay smeet, I'm going to put some basic data into your Pak so you won't be so stuuuuupid like a FILTHY huuuman, but I cannot give you a personality. Make one yourself, it's what most races do anyways."

The smeet merely nodded, her existence nothing beyond the robots and the creature in front of her that looked like her.

Zim sighed and picked up the smeet. He carried her at arm's length over to a table and set her down on it. He pulled a wire from the ceiling and plugged it into her Pak while pushing the disk into a monitor that appeared as soon he pulled the tool from it's resting place. He pressed a button on the monitor and the smeet's eyes widened as a wide variety of information coursed into her Pak.

Zim took the disk out and placed it on the table as the tools and monitor put themselves away. "Well, smeet?" he asked.

"There are errors in this program," she stated.

"I KNOW," Zim yelled. "Just… deal with it," he hissed.

The smeet turned around, looking adorably confused but Zim knew that it was the lack of any real personality that was leaving her gaze so blank. It wasn't his problem though. "What?" he snarled.

"If I am an Irken then according to this information I should be assigned to an area for training," she told him simply.

Zim shook his head. "Nah, all the stuff about the Irkens is irrelevant, smeet. You live with ZIM now! Prepare yourself for the best and most wonderful experience of your life for you will be with a superior master of INFINITE amazingness!"

The smeet looked oddly confused at this statement. "I have only been alive for 23 minutes and 34 seconds, Zim. There are no previous experiences for me to relate this one to as the 'best'."

Zim looked slightly annoyed. It was amazing how cute and high her voice sounded and yet she talked like a robot, or some kind of programmed tool. Zim's antennae dipped as he realized that essentially she WAS a programmed tool. He sighed and shook his head, not ready to accept his fate quite yet. He figured he could be in denial for a little bit longer. "Compare it to your birth," he snapped. "And call me 'master' or 'master Zim'," he instructed her. "For I am your master, young smeet."

The Irken nodded, accepting this as the truth. "Yes, master Zim," she repeated.

Zim nodded, feeling a little better about the situation. Perhaps this could turn in his favor after all. He now had a fully competent servant to do his bidding and even though he was no longer tied to the Irken Empire, who said he had to stop trying to take over the world? "Good, good," he praised her.

"Master Zim?" she asked.

"Hm?" Zim replied, getting ready to go upstairs.

She paused, giving the first sign of the possibility that she may develop a personality. "My information says that I should have a title to call myself by. Smeet is a generic term for the stage of life that I am in. What is… a 'name'?" she asked.

"A name or your name?" Zim replied.

The smeet thought hard and looked up at Zim. "Both," she stated simply.

Zim pulled on his antennae slowly as he thought of the right way to answer. "A name is a title which a creature identifies oneself as," he said finally. "My name is ZIM!" he yelled triumphantly. "And as for your name, I am not sure. Smeets are usually given names after they are brainwashed."

"Am I allowed to have a name?" the smeet asked.

Zim shrugged carelessly. He could honestly care less. "Sure."

"Will you give me a name?" she asked.

Zim sighed and turned around. "Fine! Smeet, your name from now on will be Vax! Now, computer, take me to the top floor NOW!" Zim yelled and was whisked away by a tube.

Vax smiled silently as she watched her master fly up the tube. She had a name.

* * *

Heh, I have sooooo much planned for this. For now, here's Vax. Vax in case you can't tell, has no personality. 

Guess what happens when she's exposed to Zim, Gir and Dib over a period of time? Heh heh. poor girl, she's going to have the most dysfunctional personality ever. Ah well, it will evolve over a LONG period of time so don't worry about it, yet.

Thank you SO much for your reviews. They help motivate me a lot and make me want to write more. Hope you enjoyed this chapter!


	3. Chapter 3

The next day Dib decided to pay a visit to his archenemy after skool. Whenever Zim didn't go to school, it wasn't because he was sick and that made him nervous. When Zim was alone to make things, bad things happened. Very bad things. What's worse is that these bad things usually meant that he would have to keep the city or the world from being nearly destroyed while trying to finish his homework assignment. 

Dib glanced around, wondering if he should try and sneak in or if it wasn't worth the effort. Usually when he knocked Gir just opened the door anyways, but if Zim was there then he'd probably be shot at. Decisions, decisions, ah well. Dib figured it was okay as he knocked on the door, getting ready to duck if necessary. He saw the doorknob turn slowly and watched as it opened to reveal a tiny little Irken.

And she was quite naked.

Dib's eyes widened as he looked down at the small alien, and he felt a blush spread over his cheeks much to his dismay. Irkens didn't actually have any outer organs aside from the shape of their antennae that defined their gender, so to speak. But it was the principal of the idea. The fact that there was an Irken, who Dib could tell was female, who was standing right in front of him without any clothes. He let out a kind of strangled gasp as she gazed back, not sure of what to do.

"Hello, my name is Vax," she finally said. "What are you?"

Dib blinked. Not who are you, what are you. She had never seen a human before. "I…" he slowly said. "I'm uhh… well, I'm human," he offered.

"Oh," Vax said simply. "What is your title?"

"Title?" Dib asked. "I don't have a title."

Vax cocked her head to the side then nodded. "I'm sorry, I meant name. What is your name?" she asked.

"My name is Dib," he answered, for lack of anything else to do. He was still getting over the initial shock of the small Irken opening the door in the first place. Finally, it dawned on him that there probably shouldn't be an Irken infant there to begin with. Zim didn't seem like the nice type, let alone the fatherly type. "Is… Zim here?" he asked finally.

Vax nodded once.

"Is he… trying to take over the world?" Dib tried. Maybe he could get some information out of the small Irken.

Vax nodded again. "He said that he would take over this filthy planet to show to everyone that he was a superior being capable of anything," she explained in a flat voice. It was a bit odd to hear Zim's words come from the mouth of a little girl who had no idea how to annunciate at all.

Dib sucked in a deep breath and exhaled slowly. "I figured," he finally said. "Umm…"

Zim decided to appear at that moment in all his glory from the toilet. He jumped out of the toilet and glanced around as if looking for something. Then his eyes fell on Dib. "DIB!" he yelled.

Dib was jerked rudely out of his quiet confusion by Zim's yell. He didn't mind though, it was what he came there to do after all. "Zim!" he yelled back and pulled another electro-magnetic gun out of his coat. "I have come to defeat you!"

"You wish stink monkey!" Zim snarled as he deployed his spider legs and glared menacingly at Dib. "I will have my VICTORY against you then I will take over this STUPID planet!"

Dib grinned and leveled his gun at Zim. "You wish, space boy," he said with a grin. "Try and get me if you can!"

Zim stepped forward and Dib responded by getting ready to rush into the house. Just before they sprung at one another Vax decided to speak. "What are you doing?"

Zim and Dib stopped cold and glanced down at the smeet. "We're fighting," Zim told her.

"Why?" she asked.

"Because we hate each other," Dib replied.

"Why?" she asked.

"Because Dib is a stinky filth beast!" Zim announced at the same time Dib said, "Because he's an alien trying to take over the world."

"Why?" she asked.

Dib and Zim exchanged glances and glared at Vax. "Because!" they both snapped.

Vax still didn't quite understand. "Why?" she asked again.

Zim sighed heavily and straightened up. "Because it's what we do, smeet. We fight. That's it."

Vax was silent for a few seconds as she gazed at Zim. "Why?"

"NO MORE QUESTIONS!" Zim yelled at her. "Your master commands it!"

Vax nodded once. "Yes master Zim," she replied obediently and was silent.

Zim gritted his teeth and rubbed his forehead in obvious annoyance. Dib looked slightly disturbed. "What did you do to her? She's acting like a robot!"

Zim glared at Dib menacingly. "I did nothing Earth trash! She is a smeet and she was blown into my base before she was given a personality. So she's developing one, slowly."

"Blown into your base?" Dib asked dubiously.

Zim growled. "I don't feel like speaking about the matter with inferior slime such as yourself, Dib stink."

Gir walked over and giggled. "Mastah got kicked out by the tall guys! They told him that his life was meaningless because he was Irken and a defective! I have no idea what that means but it's what mastah said!"

"GIR!" Zim yelled at his obnoxious robot. "MAKE SILENCE NOW!"

Dib blinked slowly and lowered his gun. "They what?"

"Don't think it makes a difference, Dib," Zim growled warningly. "I WILL continue to take over this FILTHY planet of dirt and… stuff! Do I make myself clear?"

"Yeah…" Dib said slowly. "So… Vax is stuck with you then?"

Zim nodded sulkily. "Yeah, she's with me. She is my slave now, and answers to me."

"She's your slave?" Dib asked, appalled at the idea. "Zim! She's you… kinda. She's the same as you at least. Why is she your slave?"

"Because that's how things work," Zim snarled. "Besides she doesn't know what it even means. It doesn't matter anyways."

Vax walked over to Dib and looked up at him. "So you are the filthy HYUUUMAN that is annoying my master?" she asked. It was odd because the only two words that had any intonation at all were 'filthy human' and it was obvious that she mimicked the way Zim said them.

Dib sighed and looked at Zim. "Yeah, I am," he replied while starting Zim straight in the eye. "She doesn't know who humans are?" he asked.

"She's only been here for a day!" Zim replied exasperatedly. "Sorry for trying to deal with a life changing crisis in a day!"

"So…" Dib said slowly. "You are upset."

Zim realized his mistake and tried in vain to cover it up. "Wha? No! Ha ha!" he laughed zealously. "No, no, filthy HUMAN. I am fine, and just as ready to take over this disgusting planet of filth as I always was. I AM ZIM!" he yelled. "And I will remain victorious."

Dib nodded slowly, not believing a single word that Zim was saying. However he decided not to pursue it, lest Zim pull out a weapon and begin shooting him to prove his point. Instead he went onto his next issue. "Why is she naked?" he asked, pointing to Vax.

Zim blinked and looked down at the small girl. "Well, I took apart the disguise machine to make some other stuff and… I don't really have any extra clothes."

"Naked?" Vax asked.

Dib and Zim looked at her then back at each other. "Does she know anything?" Dib asked Zim.

"She knows more then your slimy brain of goo will ever hope to comprehend!" Zim yelled at Dib.

"Right…" Dib said slowly.

"I know that the anomaly known as time is not in fact linear and therefore subject to looping and jumps known in this language as 'time travel' and that the manipulation of the anomaly is actually quite easy," Vax told Dib. "Master Zim likes to mess around with this anomaly because there are a lot of time displacement tools in his lab."

Dib opened his mouth then closed it. "Okay, she's smart. But completely socially inept," he accused Zim."

"It's not my fault!" Zim yelled. "She doesn't have a personality yet! She doesn't know how to act!"

"What is naked?" Vax asked again. "The definition is bare of any covering or overlaying matter, however I do not see how this pertains to my person as I am 'wearing' my skin which is keeping me covered."

Dib slapped his forehead and Zim looked almost amused. "On earth we wear clothes to cover and protect our bodies," Dib said slowly while keeping his eyes covered with his hand. "It's also a social rule, people normally don't go around naked."

"Thank Irk," Zim breathed.

Dib glared at him then turned his attention back to the smeet. "It also keeps you warm," he finished.

"My temperature is regulated by my Pak," Vax explain to Dib. "I have no need for 'clothes' by your definition."

"Zim, she needs clothes," Dib said pointedly.

"Why do you care? She's an Irken and my servant," Zim snapped back.

Dib sighed heavily, not in the mood to explain the concept of 'humanity' to Zim. "Let's just say it's because I'm human. She needs clothes, Zim. And a disguise."

Zim frowned and looked around. "I still have wigs and lenses I can use for her but I don't have any other clothing aside from what I already have for my disguises. She is too small for any of those things."

Dib sighed again, for good measure. "Get the lenses and the wig. I have an extra shirt in my bag in case I get messy during skool," he said as he pulled a copy blue shirt out of his backpack.

"Why do you have that?" Zim asked as he pulled his disguises out of a hidden panel in the wall.

"I don't know," Dib replied sarcastically. "Maybe because you shoot me every day or maybe because I get my butt handed to me before and after school by Torque Smacky. You tell me."

Zim frowned as he pulled out clear lenses and a small red wig for Vax. Green was a normal eye color on earth as far as he knew so he figured it was okay. He handed them to Vax and said "Put them on," completely ignoring Dib's rant.

Vax looked at them, figured what they were for with the database in her Pak and put them on. "Where are we going?" she asked as Dib pulled the much too large t-shirt over her head.

Zim gave a small defeated sigh as he put on his own quote unquote 'disguise.' "We're getting you some clothes so that the Dib stink will shut his annoying noise tube."

Dib couldn't help but feel a little victorious as Zim pulled Vax and Dib out of his house and began marching them sulkily down the street towards the mall.

* * *

Yay! This chapter was awkward! Actually, it was kinda hard to write and keep everyone in character. Zim was about ready to shoot her in the middle there XD ha, good thing Dib was there to interrupt them or he may have done it too. 

Thanks for your reviews! They're getting me really excited about writing this story. I hope you're all enjoying this and this chapter is dedicated to my friend Megan who is feeling a little under the weather. Feel better o/

As always, hugs to my reviewers and I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Right now we're going to have some mindless filler until the main plot because the plot is kind dark and Vax needs a personality before I begin the plot. So, read and review if you wish and I'll see you next chapter!


	4. Chapter 4

When they got to the mall, Vax stopped short and looked around. It was so unlike anything she had seen yet and her Pak began to take in all the information from just looking around. There were stores, people, things, useless little concrete structures that spouted water for no apparent reason and food shops. She gazed around at the multitude of people flowing around her. There were males and females of the human species cuddling and looking at each other in odd ways. There were females carrying shopping bags and chatting loudly. There were males just walking around, looking sullen and resentful for no reason. And there were males and females with younger males and females walking around. The younger ones were holding onto the older humans' hands or sometimes there was a little human in between two older humans. 

Vax looked perplexed as she watched his behavior and trotted after a muttering Zim and a silent Dib. Both boys looked upset, but she couldn't tell why. Vax frowned and brushed a lock of the waist length wig out of her eyes. She didn't understand who the people around her were, or why they were acting the way they were. Finally, she had to ask. "Master Zim?" she asked softly.

"Yes, smeet?" Zim muttered back.

"Why are there humans in units?" she asked. "Is there a reason that they feel the need to travel in groups?"

Dib blinked at her as Zim sighed heavily. "What do you mean?" Dib asked.

Vax pointed to a family that was walking down the hall. "Them," she said simply. She gazed around a bit and then pointed to a couple. "And them," she said. Then she pointed to a group of girls, "And them as well. They are all together, but I do not understand why."

Dib bit his lower lip as Zim continued to stomp sulkily through the store, hating each and every moment he had to spend among the filthy human population. Dib raised an eyebrow and guessed that Zim wasn't going to explain anything to her, so he decided to indulge the smeet. "Well, those people," he said pointing to another family, "are a family."

"Family?" Vax asked.

Dib nodded. "It's… well… it's how humans live. When humans are born they aren't born with the ability to take care of themselves like you are. So the adults, who are their parents, take care of them and raise them until they are grown. Make sense?"

Vax nodded. "So, in order to survive, older humans take care of the younger ones?"

"Kinda," Dib sighed. "There's more to it then that, but you have the basic idea."

"And them?" Vax asked, pointing to another couple.

"They're probably on a date," Dib said simply.

"Date?" Vax asked.

"Well yeah, they're in love. Or they want to be. Maybe they just like each other, I don't know," Dib snapped hotly. "They're dating. Or friends or something."

"What is that? Love, like?" Vax asked.

"Love? Emotions?" Dib replied. "It's when…"

Zim's antennae twitched irritably and Dib noted this. "Oh," he said softly. "Uhh… Irkens don't…"

"No," Zim said in a dangerous voice that warned Dib to drop the subject. The older boy did but Vax had not yet learned how to pick up on subtext.

"What are emotions?" Vax asked.

Dib looked at Zim who was currently seething. Dib sighed and shrugged. "I'll… explain later," he said slowly. "Right now may not be the best time."

Zim snorted. "What, concerned for your worst enemy, filth?"

"I don't want you to have a tantrum in the middle of the mall and blow it up," Dib hissed. "Because we both know you would."

Zim shrugged. "Yes… well…" he tried to think of a retort but none came to mind. "Whatever."

Finally they came to a store that had large bubble letters proclaiming 'Kid's Clothing Store' proudly. Dib cocked his head to one side as Zim led Vax into the store. "You'd think they could come up with a better name," he said under his breath.

Zim stopped short and gazed around. Vax stopped next to him, waiting patiently and Dib walked up to stand next to them. "Why is it all light and… stuff?" Zim asked. "It's disturbing. Much like your overly large head."

Dib ignored the crack at his person and stuck out his tongue at all the passé color. "It is kinda boring," he admitted. "But we just need to find something for her to wear."

"I don't have any filthy earth monies," Zim told Dib.

"I'm the son of the most intelligent man in the world, I get a pretty nice allowance. How else do you think I buy all my weapons?" Dib asked Zim irritably.

Zim shrugged and looked around. "Well, filthy beast of brain meats, I have no idea what to get, got any suggestions?"

"You're asking me?" Dib asked Zim dubiously. "I'm a 16 year old boy in high school. How am I supped to know what to get a little ALIEN kid to wear?"

"Then why did you drag me HERE!" Zim yelled back. "I don't know anymore about this then you do!"

"Because she needs something!" Dib snapped back, finally starting to reach his breaking point.

"Well I…" Zim started but was interrupted by a creepy looking saleswoman with a plastered smile on her face.

"Hello!" she said brightly while still smiling. "How may I help you today?"

Zim and Dib exchanged glances while Vax merely stared at the scary woman with a vaguely interested expression. "Clothes for her…" Dib finally answered, pointing at Vax.

The woman knelt down and pushed her smiling fact into Vax's own. "Well hello there! Aren't we a cute little girl! Let's find something for you, shall we?" she gushed.

Zim and Dib both looked quite disturbed by the woman as Vax stared back. As the woman wandered away into the many racks of clothing, Vax edged closer to Zim. "I…" she frowned, not sure how to put it. "My heart rate speeds up and I felt slightly clammy when she did that," Vax said slowly. "I am not sure how to explain it but I don't wish to feel like that again."

"It's called having a sense of personal space," Dib replied dryly. "And unfortunately, sometimes you have to put up with having it violated."

The woman wandered back carrying a small pale purple peasant skirt and a shirt with three layers of black on the bottom, dark purple in the middle and lilac on the top. The shirt was layered at the neck, sleeves and bottom and was frilled at the ends to make it stick out. She was also carrying a pair of dark purple sneakers. "Here we go," she said cheerfully and handed them to Zim. "Why don't you get your little sister dressed to see how they fit."

"She's not my sister!" Zim snapped angrily.

The woman's eyes widened and her mouth formed an 'o' shape. "I'm sorry, I assumed but I didn't think you would like to have it pointed out."

"Eh?" Zim asked.

Dib realized what she was hinting at and laughed nervously. He pushed Zim into the changing booth with Vax before the woman could say anything else. "It's okay, don't worry about it," he said really fast and slammed the door.

"Do you know who the mother is?" the woman asked.

Dib bit his lower lip to keep from laughing. "Uhh… no…" he said slowly.

The woman sighed and tutted. "Pity. Things like that happen every day. What a wonderful father to help take care of the child though."

Dib finally couldn't take it anymore. "Um, do you have a bathroom?" he asked.

The woman pointed to the left and Dib followed. He ran into a stall and locked it, then burst out laughing. "Oh my god…" he said softly. "Oh my god, oh my god…" he continued to laugh for a long while as he imagined Zim being a dad. Zim of all people… a father. Oh boy, that was a riot.

Meanwhile, Zim was inside the changing booth, trying to figure out how to dress Vax. He pulled Dib's shirt off her and got the shirt on just fine. However, because he had never been exposed to a skirt before he wasn't sure how it went on. Sure, there was the dress as a part of one of his costumes, but that went over the head and settled around the shoulders. Did the skirt go over the head or up from the feet or what? Finally he pulled it up from the ground around her hips and fumbled with the clasp. He gave a tiny sigh of relief as he heard it click. "You better appreciate this, smeet," he muttered as he helped Vax put on the sneakers.

"Yes, Master Zim," Vax said softly.

Finally, Zim led Vax out of the changing booth to see Dib holding in laughter and the woman looking at him with some kind of pity and admiration in her eyes. The completely befuddled Zim led Vax over as Dib paid for the clothing. Dib decided that it was totally worth it as he handed over the card.

As they left the store, Dib looked over the two Irkens. "Well, at least she has clothing now," he said finally.

"Why were you laughing, Dib stink?" Zim asked.

"You don't want to know," Dib said amusedly. "Just… trust me."

"I trust no one, human FILTH!" Zim declared.

"Jeez Zim, it's just an expression," Dib shot back, hotly.

Vax looked around the store as the two boys continued to bicker. She looked at the family units with particular interest. The children were not able to take care of themselves as Dib explained and so they needed the older and wiser adults to help them. Such an inefficient way of survival, and yet it held a mystery for her. They seemed so… happy. She didn't understand what happy meant, but the word was what was supplied for her when she tried to think of something.

The children were laughing, or giggling as they walked down the hallways with their parents. Some clung tightly to hands while others only grasped the parent's shirts. She had no idea what this behavior meant.

"By the way smeet," Zim said suddenly. "You need to blend in with these humans, understand? I've come too far to abort my mission, and so I will continue to take over this disgusting planet of… bad…stuff. Anyways, you need to OBEY me and not be noticed, understand?"

"Yes, Master Zim," Vax said quietly.

"That is so disturbing," Dib said softly.

"You know why," Zim replied dryly. "So why keep on bringing it up?"

"Because it is?" Dib asked. "Ever think about that space boy?"

Once again they continued to bicker over Vax's head. She looked around and saw that the common factor in the mall was the grasping of hands. Couples did it as they walked, parents and children did it and even some who were of the same sex did it. Taking note of this, she reached up and grabbed Zim's hand.

"Smeet?" Zim growled warningly.

"It is a common action in this society," Vax explained. "About 79 percent of the humans here are engaging in such an action. If we want to blend in then perhaps this is a good course of action."

Zim sighed but did not pull his hand away. He didn't want to discourage the idea of logical thinking. He needed a helper who thought that way. "All right, smeet," he said softly as they walked out of the mall.

Dib looked relatively amused as they walked back to their neighborhood. When he split off to go to his own home, the first thing he did was boot up his computer. He wanted to know what happened to make Zim so upset. Maybe if he found out, he would learn how to defeat the alien menace once and for all.

* * *

Heh, Vax... ahh... she is so damn hard to write. My GOD, to all you writers out there, if you EVER create a character with no personality, be ready to fight with your thesaurus to find words that aren't emotion driven. Ugh. 

Anyways, hope you liked this chapter! This is about as fluffy as Invader Zim can get. We'll have quite a few chapters like this as she slowly discovers her personality. Here she gets a nice taste of 'fear' and 'disturbed' heh, because we've all been exposed to that salesperson that just won't go away. (And yes, I have horror stories about that one)

Hugs to all my reviewers! I'm glad people like this story. It makes me happy that I can write an irken out and not get yelled at for making a mary sue. (And no, she won't become one. Mary Sues are boring. I want Vax to blow stuff up by the time I'm done with her XD) Can't wait to see you next time!


	5. Chapter 5

Dib ran into his house and up the stairs, saying a quick hello to his sister as he ran by. Gaz didn't even register the greeting until Dib was halfway up the stairs. When she finally did acknowledge the hurried salutation, she replied, "If you drink the last soda again, Dib, I will send your soul to the darkest depths of hell where the pain is so great even you can't begin to imagine how tortured you will be." 

Dib caught quite a bit of this as he finished running to his room and gulped loudly. He quickly took refuge in his room and made a mental note to not drink anything out of the fridge for a while.

He opened a few programs and began to search for anything that may give him clues as to what happened to Zim. Even though that day had been pretty tame, it was still odd that Zim hadn't once tried to kill him, destroy something or in any, way, shape or form cause anything besides mild irritation. It was a welcome change, but it was welcomed with caution.

He had been fighting Zim for years at that point. He knew his enemy better then his enemy knew him and regardless of how trivial some of Zim's schemes may have appeared there was no doubt in Dib's mind that Zim was quite capable of destruction and murder.

Dib sighed as the computer whirred painfully. Sifting through intergalactic codes probably wasn't the best thing for his computer, but desperate times called for desperate measures. He knew he could fix whatever may happen to break and nothing would keep him from getting the answers he desired. Nothing.

Finally, after a few tense minutes and several pieces of his computer breaking off in smoldering heaps, he got a few files he could work with. Long ago he had isolated a program from the ship that Tak came in to translate Irken into English so that he could read anything Zim was dumb enough to leave behind at school, which happened often.

The file opened with a little smiling Irken face on the icon and the writing underneath it read 'May we conquer all' in happy, bubble, Irken letters. Dib gave the icon one odd glance before clicking on it and downloading it's contents to his hard drive, ready to shut down and back up in case there was a virus inside.

For once, luck was on his side and he was able to open the file without much hassle. It turned out to be a video file, and much to his delight, he was able to open it as well after tweaking the code a bit. A darkened room appeared on his screen and after a few long moments of watching the darkened room, Dib realized that it was a security camera. Dib sighed and cursed as he wondered if he was spending his precious time watching some Irken hallway. After a few more minutes of watching darkened room, he ran the cursor up to the 'x' box in the corner of the screen and prepared to cancel the program.

Just before he did, he saw two shadowy figures followed by a third figure that was a great deal smaller then the first two enter the room. A dim light appeared and cast the three figures in eerie shadow. Dib gasped audibly as he recognized Zim and the two taller Irkens who he had discovered to be Zim's leaders. He heard Zim ask "What is this my Tallest?" and pulled a large tub of popcorn out of nowhere as he watched the events unfold.

Dib grabbed a large fistful of the buttery fluff and shoved it into his mouth as he heard the red Tallest say "We're on Irk, Zim. Your Pak won't be able to override the ENTIRE planet. The continuation of your Trial begins now."

Dib shoved in another fistful and smiled with glee. He loved it when he witnessed Zim in trouble. For all the problems the annoying green alien put him through, it was nice to watch him squirm every so often. Dib watched as Zim's large red eyes grew even wider as he gave the Tallest a cocky smile. Dib grinned himself as he realized that Zim was trying to play it cool but when he finally spoke, Dib found himself unable to keep on smiling. "T-trial?" Dib heard Zim say before he let out a small, scared laugh. Dib stared at the screen in wonder. He had never heard Zim stutter before. "Please my Tallest, I believe you summoned me for my mission."

The tub of popcorn sat silently in Dib's hands as he stared intently at the screen. He no longer found joy in the events unfolding before him, rather, he felt a small chill run up his spine as a faceless voice boomed from his monitor. "Silence!" It yelled, and Dib did a quick screen search to find the source of the voice, but since the camera was placed at an angle to view Zim, he couldn't see Zim's accuser. "Irken Zim, you have committed crimes against the Irken Empire that will never be able to be forgiven. The only justice we can do is to shut down your Pak and wipe it clean of every file."

"Justice?" Dib whispered as he heard Zim audibly swallow. It was clear that the small Irken was terrified but unable to move. "Well, it is Zim," he said doubtfully. "He probably deserves it, whatever it is."

Zim then held out his hands, palms up in a pacifist gesture. "But," he said slowly and paused. "I have done nothing wrong," he cooed in a small voice, apparently trying to win his leaders over. "I have successfully invaded the pathetic dirt ball known as Earth and am close to claiming it for Irken conquest."

Dib snorted. "Like hell you have," he muttered at the computer. "He's obviously lying," he told Zim's leaders, even though he knew that they couldn't hear him.

"You are responsible for the death of one of Irk's greatest leaders," Dib heard the voice yell. Dib nodded, feeling a bit more comfortable.

"Of course he did," Dib breathed before the loud voice could continue.

"And also responsible for the death of Spork to boot. You've destroyed half of Irk, two satellite planets AND you are responsible for long blackouts that nearly destroyed our society as we knew it," the voice went on.

Dib nodded, looking more and more annoying. "Yeup, sounds like Zim," he sighed. "And here I thought he may have changed, ha ha ha," he laughed dryly at himself for thinking something so foolish.

"You Zim are a failure at everything Irken. You have filthy emotions and let your worry about yourself get in the way of judging a battle clearly. You also care for your stupid robots, which could compromise any situation you were in. SIR units are expendable tools, not pets to become attached too," the voice concluded.

Dib felt the popcorn tube slip from his hands. "What?" he gasped. "Zim's getting into trouble for having emotion? The other stuff sure, but where does that fit in?" He yelled at the monitor as he watched Zim literally deflate before his eyes.

"Shut up before I send your pathetic soul into a throbbing pit of doom and despair!" Gaz yelled up the stairs but Dib pretended not to hear her.

"I…" Zim said softly, obviously at a loss of what to say in order to defend himself.

"Zim, you moron, why don't you tell them you're a heartless bastard who only cares about himself," Dib hissed quietly at his computer.

"As such, we will carry out the sentence we ruled last year," Dib heard the voice say. "You, Irken Zim, are condemned to having your Pak removed and deactivated, then wiped of any data it may contain."

Dib's eyes widened as he watched Zim edge even closer to a nervous breakdown. "I did nothing wrong!" he heard Zim yell angrily. "I have been nothing but a loyal soldier since day one of my existence. How can you say that I'm a failure as an Irken?"

Dib watched as Zim's leader rolled his eyes like a five year old and step forward to confront Zim as the purple leader sighed behind him. "You just don't get it, do you Zim?" he snarled. "Listen to me carefully. We. Don't. Like. You."

Dib blinked as he saw Zim practically shut down. Dib winced, "Harsh," he murmured. He may not have liked Zim, but few people deserved that kind of talk. "But…" he watched Zim try, almost in a pathetic way. "I am ZIM!"

"You are a moron," the purple leader said in a snide voice. "So, accept your fate. If you really are as 'loyal' as you claim then you should have no problem with being deactivated for the betterment of the empire."

Dib blinked several times and snorted at the monitor. "Huh?" he asked.

"What kind of screwed up logic is that?" Dib heard a dark voice ask from behind him.

Dib turned around quickly, "Gaz?" he asked.

"I wanted to see what you were being so stupid about," she muttered with a careless shrug. "Zim's finally going to bite it?"

"No, this is from awhile ago," Dib explained as Zim began to have a small, silent breakdown on the monitor. "He's alive, but different and I wanted to know why."

Gaz shrugged and left the room. "Really messed up logic," she said in a quieter voice before she stepped out into the hallway.

Dib cast one final glance at his sister before returning to his monitor. He turned just in time to see a large explosion rock the room that the camera was in. "What was that?" a voice yelled.

A few seconds later Dib heard a smaller voice screech, "The hatcheries! They're destroying the hatcheries!"

Red and Purple exchanged glances before yelling, "Who?"

As the Irken in front of them began to babble about something called a 'resisty' he watched Zim slip into the shadows and run away. Dib sighed and turned off the monitor, unwilling to watch anymore. He sighed and leaned back into his chair, dazed and confused.

Zim was his worst enemy. An alien who wanted to destroy the world and everyone on it. He had killed, he was merciless and he was a monster. And yet he was condemned to death by his own people for having emotions and the ability to care.

So, if that were the case, then what kind of society did Zim grow up in? Was he screwed up because he was forced to live that way? Why did he act like that if his entire being was on a computer, and why did he have emotions in the first place if he wasn't supposed to?

Dib gazed up at the ceiling as the butter from his tub of popcorn soaked into the carpet. "What do I do?" he asked his ceiling quietly.

* * *

Vax hovered over Zim's shoulder as he took off his Pak and began to open it up. "What is this?" she asked. 

Zim pointed at his Pak and then to the tool in his hand. "This is my Pak, you have one too, smeet. I'm fixing it because when I came back through the portal one of my programs was damaged. I didn't notice until earlier, so NOW I'm going to repair it. All right?" he snapped.

Vax nodded shortly once and watched as Zim continued to repair his Pak. "What does it do?" she asked.

Zim sighed exasperatedly, "Look it up in your own information databank."

"How?" Vax asked.

Zim blinked and looked down at Vax, realizing that she had no earthly clue on how to deal with her Pak. He growled at her ineptitude and shut his own Pak with a click. "Concentrate really hard on the word you want to know about, the information should come to you," he said as he put down his tool.

Vax closed her eyes and thought about 'pak' as much as she could. She balled her hands into fists at the effort it took which caused Gir to giggle loudly. "Lookit mastah, she bein' kinda cute."

Zim glanced down at Gir and then to Vax. "Gir, I don't KNOW what that means. I don't think things are CUTE. So just shut up and don't talk. UNDERSTAND?"

Gir let his tongue stick out of the corner of his mouth as he saluted his irritable master. Zim rolled his eyes as he watched Vax continue to concentrate.

Finally the information came to Vax. She felt it flood into her brain, and while the knowledge was welcome, the feeling it came with was not. Her green eyes snapped open at the alien sensation and shook her head. "Pak," she said quietly. "A computer that is placed onto an Irken's back at birth. It controls bodily function, atmospheric intake, data intake, memories, personality and contains other useful tools. If removed from the host Irken the body will die and the Pak will enter a stasis mode. However, the information inside will continue to be preserved unless removed by an outside force, making the Irken's lifespan very long and the possibility of reactivation relatively high."

Zim nodded and began to walk out of his lab. Vax ran forward and grabbed Zim's arm and held onto it, clinging to him like she had seen Gir do so many times. She heard Zim sigh, but decided that she really didn't care, because she liked being close to her master. She didn't know why, but it was better then the empty feeling she had when she was alone. Finally, she asked. "Was that good?"

Zim pulled her into the elevator and announced, "Top floor," without replying to her. He looked down and saw her gazing up at him with large eyes that awaited his approval. He had no idea what to say, so he simply shrugged and nodded again. "Yeah, sure. It was fine."

Vax felt a her lips turn upwards. She researched the reaction in her databank and came up with. 'Smile, an outward action that indicates happiness or content.' Content, happiness, she still didn't understand, but she liked the idea. She liked it a lot.

* * *

So...very...tired x.x Oh my god school is so hard right now. I'm trying my best to update my larger fics before I have surgery and here's the first one! Everyone loves Dib! Well, I do at any rate. Watch him be empathetic with Zim. Yay. Okay, I'm going to bed. Hope you enjoyed the chapter and hugs to everyone who reviews. Or cookies, whichever you prefer. 


	6. Chapter 6

Zim sat on his couch in the house part of his base. He usually didn't like mimicking human habits, but since Gir and Minimoose were in his labs and refused to leave he figured it was better then nothing. He sighed and flopped onto his back and looked up at the stained ceiling above him. 

As of late, his life had been so hectic that he hadn't had any time to lay back and sort out his life. His Pak had been damaged but he didn't have neither the tools nor resources to fix it completely. He couldn't ask for help from his empire because he was wanted dead. He couldn't ask for help from anyone on earth because he was trying to conquer it. As for the rest of the universe, either it was under control of the Irken empire, or part of the resistance. Zim had nowhere to turn, nowhere to go, no one to ask for help at his time in need.

Zim tightened his fists and sat up, growling at his own weak thoughts. "No, no, NO!" he yelled at himself. "I am a superior IRKEN! I need no help! Help is for the weak and needy!" Zim took a few deep breaths and glared into space. "I am strong, I am AMAZING, I AM ZIM!"

He lay back down and rubbed his head with the back of his hand and glared at the ceiling again. He didn't need anyone, and he knew it. Still, it was hard to be independent when he knew that the small repairs that he had put into his Pak earlier would last him a few days at most.

His Pak didn't have any outwards damage, but Zim was slowly beginning to notice small internal programming glitches. A spark here, a misplaced file there. It wasn't at a noticeable pace but now that he had been back from Irk for a few days, he could definitely tell that his Pak was having problems. Small ones, but at the rate the programming was deteriorating he could only guess how long it would take before his files were destroyed.

He knew he needed a reboot disc, but that was a special order item from Irk. The only thing he had was a blank disc with the basic files he had used on Vax, but that would only erase what was already there. He liked being Zim and had no desire to erase his own personality, even if it meant he would live.

Zim grinned at the ceiling and shrugged carelessly as he got off the couch. He would think of something. He was Zim, possibly the most perfect being in existence. He could come up with something in a few days, and then he could figure out what to do about taking over the world.

Vax poked her head around the corner and tried to smile at Zim. The result was mixed and anyone with eyes could tell it was forced. Still, she was trying and Zim could recognize that much. "What?" he snapped rudely.

"Master Zim, Gir said that you have something called… skool today. What is skool?" she asked quietly.

Zim scratched his chin and frowned. "Skool is a place where filthy human brats go to learn about other, older filthy human brats and math. It is where I ZIM learn about the disgusting meat bags in order to take over this pathetic excuse for a planet."

"Is skool important?" Vax asked.

Zim nodded wisely. "Indeed, smeet. Skool is extremely important in my data gathering. It is also the confrontation place of DOOM where Dib and I meet every day."

"Oh," Vax replied blandly. "Can I accompany you on your mission to take over the world through data gathering at this 'skool' facility?"

Zim rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "That might be a decent idea, smeet. Although you are smaller then my almighty self. So, as I remember you are to go to a skool for younger humans. I have never been there, so this can be a good opportunity to learn about the smaller human culture. The filthy earth brats won't know what hit them," Zim declared with a wicked grin.

Vax nodded and tried to mimic Zim's grin, with little success. She failed so miserably that Zim walked over and patted her on the head in an effort to get her to stop. "It's all right, smeet. Just tell me what you're told at the filthy skool place."

Vax nodded and looked around. "When do we go?"

Zim looked around and frowned. "Ah…" he tried to get the time from his Pak but only got a file corrupted warning from his Pak instead. He sighed and shook his head. "COMPUTER!" he yelled with zeal.

"Yes master?" the tired computer moaned.

"What time is it?" Zim asked dramatically.

"It is 7:30 in the morning, master," the computer replied. "I thought your Pak…"

"SILENCE pathetic servant!" Zim yelled and then turned to Vax. "We're going smeet. Put on your disguise and let's go."

"Yes master Zim," Vax replied and ran to where she had laid down her contacts and wig.

* * *

Zim sighed uncomfortably as Vax clung to his hand while they walked past the High Skool. He wanted to say something about it to her but he noticed that the humans that watched them either smiled sweetly at him or made some comment about how he was such a wonderful older sibling. In other words the filthy humans were letting their guards down quite easily when Vax was being what Gir described as 'cute.' This was something he'd have to use later. 

Vax was very good at making the humans let their guards down. As they made their way into the skool he heard many older women and men coo and fawn over how cute she is and how unfortunate something so adorable had a skin condition. Vax didn't seem to notice any of this at all and merely stared straight ahead as Zim lead her down the halls.

Zim grinned and pulled her into the classroom that the representative of the skool had pointed out to him. Vax glanced questioningly up at him and cocked her head to the side as Zim pushed her into the room and forced her to let go of his hand. "I now LEAVE to go to my own skool."

Vax frowned and took one glance around the dingy class room before she ran over to the retreating Zim and grabbed the back of his uniform. "Master Zim…" she whispered quietly.

Zim sighed and turned around abruptly, pulling his shirt out of her grasp rather suddenly. Vax staggered forward from the pull and then looked up at Zim, rubbing her hands together nervously. She didn't know why but the idea of being alone with the described 'filthy worm beasts' wasn't a comfortable one. "Smeet, just stay here and do as you're told. I'll be back in 8 hours," Zim told her.

A tall woman with a fake smile plastered onto her face. She put her hands on Vax's shoulders and made her fake smile even broader. "Don't worry. We'll take excellent care of the little br… I mean bundle of joy."

Zim backed away from the disturbing human and merely nodded his head, making a mental note to destroy her once he had finished taking over the world. "I'm going," he said and left.

Vax stood there in the clutches of the scary primary school teacher feeling a cold knot in her squeedly spooch. She decided that she didn't enjoy that emotion very much and told herself that she was going to avoid falling into that feeling again.

* * *

Zim slid into his seat next to Dib, panting as the bell rang. Dib turned to him, smirking. "What's wrong, space boy? Slept in too late? I thought superior Irkens didn't need sleep." 

Zim grinned at the blackboard and ignored the morning announcements as he replied, "Of course I don't need sleep, you primitive earth monkey. I took Vax to the small for filthy earth brats so she can infiltrate the tiny humans' systems and report to me. I now have a spy among the children you disgusting humans so cherish."

Dib blinked and glanced over at Zim who was still staring straight ahead with a broad grin on his face. "Take that, Dib filth."

Dib frowned and leaned back in his seat. He wasn't sure if he wanted to fight Zim while he was down and out but apparently he wasn't. If anything could be said for Zim, it was that he could take many hits and still bounce back. A part of Dib wondered if Zim even realized he was sought after by most of the known universe.

Dib shook his head and rested his chin in his arms, frowning. Then again, since when did he care? Better yet, why did he care? Maybe it was better to just worry about defeating Zim after all. Life was less complicated that way.

* * *

Dib followed Zim as discreetly as he could as Zim made his way to the elementary skool. Everyone around them noticed Dib following Zim but Zim himself was too absorbed in his own thoughts to realize that he was being followed. 

Zim walked into the building, marching forward in an absurd way with his chest thrown out and legs coming up high. Dib ran to the bushes surrounding the school and hid inside them, waiting for his nemesis to come out.

As he waited a child walked out of the building, saw him and frowned. He and Dib stared at one another for a few seconds before the kid pointed at him and screamed, "Weirdo big head!" and ran off, laughing.

Dib glared at the kid, annoyed. Even when he was in high skool, he got little to no respect from any other miserable human on the planet. Yet he was the only one trying to save them. There's gratitude for you.

Zim came out with Vax clinging to his hand. Dib noticed that the smaller Irken looked like she was on the verge of a nervous breakdown as she clung to her master's hand. Even Zim seemed to notice this as he glanced down at his helper. "Uhhh… smeet? Skool isn't that bad."

"Teacher lady… bad," Vax said quietly. "Very bad."

Zim sighed exasperatedly. "Then ignore her. She's just a lowly human filth."

"Teacher lady says she has complete control over us because we're little. She says she was in charge. I don't like teacher lady," Vax said quietly.

"Then fight back, smeet!" Zim declared heroically. "You are an Irken. Part of the most powerful race in the universe! Stand strong and show her how superior you are"  
Vax shook her head and frowned. "But master Zim…"

"But nothing, smeet. If you are to be my helper then you must act like it. Tomorrow you will declare your superiority to the filthy mud peoples," Zim told her. "Now, on to the reason you were there. How was skool today aside from the scary teacher lady person thing?"

Vax sighed and decided to follow Zim's advice. As she began to tell Zim about her skool day, Dib stayed behind and listened intently. Whatever Zim's intentions, the manner in which they acted made it almost seem like they were siblings. Still, Dib knew Zim was twisted and only viewed Vax as his lowly minion. And now she was giving him data he apparently wanted. However it appeared, Dib knew there was more going on. But what?

* * *

Zim snuck to the attic of the house portion of his base in order to get away from Gir and Vax who was still having her small breakdown. He knew it would be hard for her to adjust so quickly but it was a chance he was willing to take. He may find out something important from her, something that could help him take over the world. 

He grinned and leaned up against the wall. Suddenly his Pak began to spark and he slid down the wall, onto his bottom as the feeling left his legs and arms. He winced and leaned forward while his Pak continued to spark and beep. He growled as he willed away the malfunction and sighed as it faded away. He leaned back against the wall, taking in deep breaths, looking upwards into the darkness of his attic. "I just pressed something I shouldn't have, that's all," he told himself quietly as he rubbed his still numb wrists. "Yes, that's all."

* * *

Oh no! What's happening! Hee, well the plot for one thing. For another Vax is getting more and more persoality but soon I need to show her happy stuff or she'll be incomplete. ...happy and zim... yeah... that'll be hard. 

And we've all had that one psychotic teacher who was nice to the parents but kinda mean otherwise. Or at least I did. It was my kindergarten teacher of all people x.x ugh, hated that year of school. Poor Zim, XD he's so proud... and so stupid

Also, there isn't going to be any pairings in this fic. Just to let you know. It's totally just a gen fic. Romance and Zim universe doesn't work out so well unless handeled properly and I don't think I can do that XD Yes, Zim and Dib become tentative... not enemies, but more like 'I stand you because you're not as stupid as everyone else on this damn planet' rather then 'yay, best buddy!'


	7. Chapter 7

The next morning Zim had to literally drag Vax out of the house so they could get to school on time. Vax clung to the door frame and whimpered loudly. "Teacher lady bad, I don't want to go back, Master Zim." 

"Smeet, you answer to me and I DEMAND you go back to skool. Now come on," Zim hissed as he pulled as hard as he could on Vax's ankles.

"No," Vax cried out. "I don't like cold feeling in my stomach that teacher lady gives me. I want to stay with you, Master Zim."

"I don't CARE smeet!" Zim yelled. "You are to obey what I tell you, now obey!"

Vax was about to start yelling again when she felt Zim's grip around her ankles go slack. She pulled herself up against the door frame and looked behind her to see Zim on the sidewalk with his arms wrapped around his middle. "Master Zim?" she asked in a small voice, wondering why he let go.

"It's… nothing, smeet," Zim hissed. "Let's go. You are to go to skool like a good filthy worm beast should. Then after I take over the world you won't have to see the bad TEACHER fool any more."

Vax walked over to where Zim was and put a small hand on his shoulder. "Is that normal behavior of filthy worm beasts?" she asked. "Are you trying to fit in?"

Zim looked up at her and grinned, happy that she was paying such close attention to what she needed to do. "No, smeet. It's nothing. Now," he announced as he stood up with gusto. "Let's go forth and CONQUER the filthy huuuuuuuu-mans with their own pathetic educational system of DOOM!"

Vax nodded and took Zim's hand as they walked away from their house. She began to notice that she reached for his hand because she felt comfortable being in contact with another living creature, not because it was a good way to blend in. She knew she couldn't get away with being close to Zim unless she gave a technical reason for it but she also was beginning to discover that she was pretty good at coming up with technical reasons for doing things. It may be slightly dishonest to act that way but it seemed that Zim encouraged a little bit of deviancy in her, so it was okay in her mind.

She looked up at the Irken she called master and began to wonder what she felt about him. The concept of feeling was such an alien one to her but she realized that unless she had something to feel 'good' about she was going to loose her mind in the hell that her master called skool. She felt that she liked Zim, and was happy to be able to call him master even though he seemed a bit odd when placed against what she knew of the Irken society from her Pak files. He was loud, boisterous and emotional about a few things at least while her data told her that a normal Irken was quiet, unnoticed and took orders. She silently wondered what she was supposed to be.

She decided that she did indeed like Zim and would model herself after him since that's what seemed to make him happiest. She would do whatever she could for him and be as good of a helper as she could be so she could help take over the planet that he deemed as filthy and worm infested. She looked up at him and nodded, feeling a warm sensation in her squeedly spooch and firmly decided that this was the way she wanted to feel all the time. "Master Zim?" she asked.

"Yes smeet?" Zim replied, a little breathlessly.

"You said yesterday that if I don't like the scary teacher lady I should fight back. Is that all right?" Vax asked.

Zim looked down at Vax and saw a look of determination about her. He grinned and nodded. "Yes, smeet, you can. Just make sure that no one discovers that you are an Irken, and try not to get caught."

"Yes, master Zim," Vax replied quietly.

Zim pulled her along, past his skool and into hers. The scary looking teacher from the day before once again confronted them and they both exchanged small glances before Zim pushed Vax forward and laughed nervously before backing out of the classroom. Vax turned to see Zim rubbing his shoulder and giving Vax a nod before walking quickly down the hall. Vax nodded back and took her seat, sitting innocently in front of the scary teacher lady.

The woman began to pace in front of them, back and forth before she shut the door with a click and turned to the class of first graders. "Well, class, I see that you've all returned for another day of learning. So, you're all going to sit there and listen quietly while I teach you, understand? One PEEP and you will all stay inside during recess."

"Yes, ma'am," the class whispered back, obediently.

Vax gazed blankly at the woman as she began to read to them out loud in a horrible screeching voice from a dog eared story book that should have been thrown out at least a decade earlier. She thought long and hard, wondering what she could do to keep the cold feeling from her squeedly spooch without getting caught. She would do anything to keep the feeling away but she also knew she couldn't let down her master. He had given her orders and she was going to follow them through, just as a good Irken should.

"Brat 1!" the woman yelled, pointing to a small tubby boy in a stained yellow shirt. The boy squeaked in fear and looked back at the teacher, his eyes growing large in fear. "Tell me the entire alphabet without stuttering."

The boy stood up and took in a deep breath. "A, B, C, D, E…" he began very quickly and went through the entire alphabet in one breath in order to keep himself from giving away his fear.

The woman smiled a fake, plastic smile and nodded. "Good," she said sweetly. "Now SIT!" she snapped.

The boy jumped into his seat and clung to the desk's top like his life depended on it, still shaking like a leaf in autumn.

The spiteful woman then turned to Vax and smiled, bringing the tips of her fingers together in front of her face, giving her a slightly demonic look. "Brat 27," she cooed. "What is four plus three?"

"Seven," Vax replied, not missing a beat.

The woman looked slightly upset that Vax wasn't intimidated by the mere sound of her voice but she let it slide. "Well done," she murmured.

"Thank you very much," Vax replied politely, still thinking about what she could do to get back at the mean teacher lady.

As the class continued, Vax got an inspired idea and glanced up at the woman to see if she was looking at her. The woman was terrorizing another child and had completely lost interest in Vax, which was perfect for the small smeet.

Vax got up and to the astonishment of her peers, marched up to the front of the class and took one of the erasers off the board and dropped it on the floor. It fell to the ground with a dull thunk.

The woman heard this and straightened up, turning only slightly to see the pattern of dust spread out over her floor. All the children stared at it wide eyed and then looked at the woman in front of them. "Who?" she asked quietly. "Who did this?"

All the children stared straight ahead, hardly daring to believe that there was someone among them who was brave or stupid enough to go up against the adult. As scared as they were, it was against child code to tattle on a fellow classmate.

"You have ten seconds to give yourself up before I get really mad," the woman said in a sweet voice. "One, two…"

Vax merely stared straight ahead, ready to take whatever came her way. Master Zim was right, if she was going to be of use, she had to fight back. And fight she would.

* * *

Zim shifted uncomfortably in his seat as he attempted to at least pretend he was paying attention in class. He knew that he needed to put on a good farce in order to get the humans to give away their secrets and this sometimes required more effort then screaming 'I'm normal' every few seconds.

Of course screaming didn't hurt his cause; it caused the worm brats around him to smile and walk away, which to Zim's knowledge was what humans did when they wanted to acknowledge someone. It was a big success in his book because he always got the same reaction, which meant that all the filthy humans accepted him. Little did they know.

"ZIM!" he heard someone yell loudly. His happy day dream of leaving the planet in ruins dissipated as he looked up at Miss Bitters who was growling at him. "I will not have any happiness in my classroom. Was your dream good? Did you get enough sleep last night?"

"Well…" Zim started slowly.

"Because I hope you didn't. You're here to be miserable and unhappy not off in some dream land. Now pay attention or I'll do something really HORRIBLE," she yelled, leaning over Zim and looking as menacing as she possibly could.

Dib looked at Zim who seemed merely apathetic at Miss Bitter's rant. Dib frowned and cocked his head to one side. Any child with brains would be terrified of Miss Bitters, even Zim. Yet there he was looking almost bored in her presence.

Zim was a little intimidated by the teacher. She was certainly one of the few things on the planet Earth that he could honestly say he was slightly fearful of, if only because he had never seen a human that could ooze around a classroom the way she did. Not that it mattered, because when the time came he was going to destroy it all.

The only problem was that it was getting harder and harder to respond to anything that happened to him. First it was just feeling numb, or perhaps not acting quite like himself but now it was hard to even move or keep his mind on the task at hand. Then again paying attention in skool was never something he particularly enjoyed doing.

He wanted to go home, see if there was anything he could do. Someway he could get his hands on the reboot disk he so desperately needed. The only problem was getting out of skool before the bell rang. He saw what happened to kids who tried to sneak out of skool. It always ended badly and painfully for whatever pathetic fool tried to escape.

Zim waited it out, almost breathing a sigh of relief when the final bell was heard. He sunk back into his chair and waited for the rest of the students to run out of the door, jump out of the windows and climb into the air ducts in their bid for freedom. He did not wish for the pathetic worms of the planet to see his one moment of weakness right before he would take over the planet.

After he heard the door close he braced himself against the desk and pushed himself out, slowly and slightly painfully. With a sigh he grabbed the top of the chair and leaned against it, waiting for his Pak to right its programming.

"What's wrong, space boy?" he heard behind him.

Zim narrowed his eyes even though Dib was behind him and hissed angrily. "Dib-smell," he muttered.

"Awwww, does your alien scum bag body hurt? Did you pull something while trying to create a doomsday weapon to destroy the earth?" Dib asked cheekily.

"As a matter of fact…" Zim began slowly, trying to think up an excuse to buy him some time.

"Both you little brats get out of my classroom before I kick you out myself!" Miss Bitters barked before Zim could continue.

Dib sighed, upset that their crabby teacher had ruined the dramatic moment. "We'll deal with this later, Zim," Dib hissed as he brushed past Zim.

"I'd be happy to destroy your filthy large head of stupidness," Zim shot back.

Dib rolled his eyes and left the classroom. Only after Dib was gone did Zim start the painful trek to the elementary skool by himself.

* * *

Zim walked out of the elementary skool with a slightly bouncy Vax clinging to his hand. "So, I fought back today as you ordered, Master Zim," Vax said.

"Oh? Good work smeet," Zim sighed as he pulled the young Irken towards his base.

"I did little things, like break her chalk and drop erasers but it made her really mad," Vax continued. "Can I take some of the goo that Gir makes every night to skool tomorrow? I have a good idea."

"Sure smeet," Zim said.

"Thank you master Zim," Vax said sweetly.

"No problem smee… When did you get so," Zim searched for the right word, "Devious."

"You ordered me to, Master Zim," Vax explained.

"I did," Zim sighed, trying to keep his thoughts in order. "Oh."

"Master Zim, are you all right?" Vax asked. "You don't seem as evil as you usually do."

Zim opened the door to his base and took a few steps inside. "I…" he said slowly. "Pak malfunction."

"Malfunction?" Vax asked as she searched for the word in her vocabulary. "Master Zim…" she began and squeaked as she tried to catch Zim as he fell to the floor. "Master Zim? Master Zim!" she yelled, feeling an icy knot in her chest. "I don't understand… Master Zim," she shook her head, trying to will away the feeling. "Please wake up, Master Zim."

* * *

Here we go, next bit. Zim is kinda OOC but I figured he has a pretty good reason to be. Vax is getting more and more easy to write now that she has a personality XD thank god. It will continue to evolve as time goes on.

Zim is fine, he'll live but after he's saved he'll wish he was dead, heh heh. There will be no romance in this story so no pairings of any kind. Just letting you guys know. And I hope you all had a good winter break or whatever you do over this time of year. Hugs and cookies to all my reviewers and I'll see you next time.


	8. Chapter 8

Vax looked around, panicked and scared. Two feelings that had become all too recognizable to her in the past few days. "I don't know what to do…" she said quietly. 

Dib looked out from his hiding place, his one lock of hair visible from above the bush he was trying to hide behind. He saw Zim lying on the concrete with a very scared Vax kneeling next to him. He frowned as he saw the small alien girl call out for his enemy to wake up, then look around as if some help may appear in front of her.

He sighed, knowing that quite possibly it could be his big chance. He could go over there, take off Zim's wig and prove once and for all that he was an alien. Capture his enemy and save the earth all in one go. He could finally accomplish what he set out to do.

On the other hand, kicking his enemy while he was down wasn't very sportsman like. He would have much preferred to kill Zim in battle. He liked fighting Zim and he would feel much better if their final confrontation was a big and flashy one.

Then again, if Zim ever became strong enough and actually did take over the world he would regret not taking this chance to attack him.

"Master Zim, please wake up," Vax said quietly.

Dib groaned, his conscience overriding any malevolent thoughts he may have harbored against Zim and walked over to where Zim lay. "Hey," he said softly.

Vax jumped and looked up at Dib. "Y-you… human…" she frowned. "Umm… Dib."

Dib nodded and gave her a small smile. "I see that you finally have a personality," he said then rubbed his head awkwardly. What a stupid thing to say, he thought irritably.

Vax shook her head and pointed at Zim. "It's because of Master Zim," she said. "And he's in trouble, I don't know what to do."

Dib sighed and picked up Zim, cradling his body in his arms and glancing down at Vax. "Show me where his lab is and I'll see what I can do."

Vax's eyes widened as she looked up at Dib. "Really?" she asked. "I thought you were just some stupid, smelly-face human."

Dib snorted and started to walk in the direction of Zim's house. "Did Zim happen to say that?" he asked.

Vax nodded. "He said that all humans on this planet were stupid and of inferior intelligence and didn't deserve to continue living in the way that they enjoy because they didn't know what pain and fear really meant."

Dib blinked and glanced down at Vax as she reiterated what was obviously a Zim rant back to Dib. Hearing it in her own monotone, cutesy voice was just a little creepy. What was worse was that Dib found himself slightly agreeing with what she was saying. "Uh well… not all humans," he told her.

Vax smiled sweetly. "Some?" she asked.

Dib bit his lip, uncomfortable with the direction the conversation was headed. "Well…" he said slowly. He looked ahead and saw Zim's lime green house loom in the distance. "Oh, look at that, we're here!" he said cheerfully and doubled his pace.

Vax looked very confused as she began to jog to keep up with Dib. "Is this what 'avoiding the topic' is called?" she asked.

Dib frowned at her as they walked up to Zim's front door. "You really have no idea how to be socially subtle, do you?" he asked.

Vax put a finger to her lips as Dib opened the door. "What's that?"

Dib sighed and shook his head. "Never mind. I'll explain some things later, but first let's get Zim inside."

Vax looked again at Zim's body and frowned. "Will… Master Zim be all right?" she asked quietly.

Dib sighed as he muttered words he never thought he'd say. "I hope so."

* * *

Vax opened the door to the lowest level of the labs underneath Zim's house. She motioned for Dib to follow her inside and then ran around looking for a light.

Dib sighed, as he realized she really didn't even know her own planet's technology. "Computer, turn on the lights," he commanded.

"You're not Master Zim," the ornery computer retorted.

"He's going to die if you don't help," Dib snapped. "Turn on the lights."

The computer grumbled for a bit and then the lights within the room flickered on. Dib walked over to the table in the middle of the room and set Zim on top of it. "Bring me any tools, any data disks, anything that he might use to repair his Pak," Dib ordered.

"Pak?" Vax asked.

Dib smiled and rolled up his sleeves. "Yeah," he replied. "If Zim just collapsed then chances are it was a Pak malfunction. I know a lot more then he thinks I do."

Vax nodded. "He said that right before he fell over," she said. "Pak malfunction."

Dib accepted the tools that the computer began to bring into the room and shook his head thoughtfully. "Moron's probably felt it for days," he muttered. "If it was sudden then something would have shown up to make it like that"  
"He knew?" Vax asked, her voice wavering.

Dib glanced down at her and felt a strong urge to protect the girl from what he knew was the truth. He knew it would hurt her feelings to know that Zim had purposefully kept something like that from her. "Uh… no," he said slowly. "He probably didn't realize what was going on. He's kinda stupid like that."

Vax's expression became angry. "Master Zim isn't stupid!" she snapped.

Dib cleared his throat. "Well… he's… slow," he said. "Don't worry. I'll think of something."

Vax nodded and sat next to Zim on the table as Dib pulled his laptop from his backpack and opened it. He plugged it into Zim's Pak as best he could and booted it up. Just as Zim's Pak slowly whirred to life the door opened and a screeching Gir and Minimoose ran into the room.

"MASTAH!" Gir yelled. "What's wrong with mah mastah!"

Minimoose flew over to where Zim was and Vax took the small purple robot into her arms and curled around him. Gir jumped up onto the table and sat next to Zim. "Why is master all still?" he asked. "Master is never still."

Dib looked down at the three creatures in the universe that actually cared for Zim and realized that even though Zim was a horrible murdering alien he still had things that depended on him. Things that wanted him to be safe and wanted him around. Dib shivered as he received a reality check he never really wanted. "He's…tired," he muttered as he tapped a few keys on his keyboard.

Dib clicked away furiously on his laptop, trying to isolate the problem within Zim's Pak and trying just as hard to ignore the small voice in the back of his head telling him that he was helping his worst enemy. He sighed and pressed the restart button praying that something changed.

Zim's Pak blinked a few times and the small alien groaned as Dib's computer whirred painfully trying to keep the Pak's corrupted programming from crashing. "Wha…"

"Zim," Dib said slowly. "Your Pak is busted and I have no idea what's wrong. My computer won't hold this up forever. Tell me what happened or you will die."

"Dib-stink…" Zim hissed as he weakly turned his head to glare at Dib.

"Zim, rant at me all you want later," Dib said as he typed away on his keyboard. "But right now I need information."

"I need no help from a filthy human," Zim hissed. "Besides, you hate me. Why?"

Dib nodded at the two robots and tiny Irken girl sitting silently on the edge of the table. Zim turned his head to look at them and Vax smiled wanly. "Are you all right, Master Zim?"

"Mastahhhh," Gir cried as he let out a torrent of tears.

Zim frowned, cursing his own weakness. He turned back to Dib and glared at the human. "I swear I will destroy this filthy planet one day," he whispered.

"Zim, my computer is overheating," Dib said gently.

"I swear it, Dib-filth," Zim growled.

Dib stopped typing and stared at Zim. Then he grinned and gave Zim and thumbs up. "I'll be right there to stop you, alien scum," he replied.

Zim actually smiled as Dib's computer began to shut down. "My main files were corrupted. I need a reboot disc from Irk's diagnostic's lab but I'm an exile," he muttered. "It's the only way to patch the damaged files."

Dib nodded and let his computer power down, knowing that everything inside it was probably shot to all hell after forcing it to keep Zim's Pak running. "We will have a rematch, space boy."

"I look forward to our confrontation of doom… Dib-stink…" Zim said quietly as his Pak fell back into sleep mode.

Vax looked down at him and took in a slow breath. She didn't like the tight feeling in her chest any more then she liked the icy pit in her stomach. "Is he…"

Dib walked over to Zim's computer and pulled out his handheld computer. "He's asleep," Dib told her as he plugged the tiny device into Zim's mainframe. "He'll be fine."

"Really?" Vax asked.

Dib nodded. "Yeah, then everything will go back to normal around here."

"Normal?" Vax asked. "What's normal?"

Dib turned to look at her and reply when he realized that he really didn't have an answer. "I don't know…" he said slowly.

* * *

After several hours of searching the Irken mainframe with his handheld, Dib finally managed to find the files that Zim was talking about. He realized after awhile that the reason Zim didn't look himself was because every piece of Irken technology was screened and tracked. Looking for the file without a computer from earth would have been suicide.

And yet he was too proud to try and find some technology on earth to help himself.

Dib sighed and rubbed his forehead as he realized this. "Moron," he muttered and plugged his handheld into Zim's Pak. He set the computer into diagnostics mode and leaned back into a chair, exhausted.

"Will Master wake up?" Gir asked.

"Yeah," Dib muttered. "Soon."

"Yey!" the hyper robot squealed and ran out of the room. "I'm going to make waffles!"

Dib watched the silver robot run away cackling and shook his head amusedly. "Oh yum," he muttered sarcastically.

Vax lay down next to Zim and curled into his arms the way she had seen on the television. She found that she felt warm and safe when she was close to Zim and she enjoyed the feeling. "I hope he wakes up soon," she murmured.

Dib yawned as he curled into the control chair. "He will," he assured her. "His Pak just needs to patch the files and reboot. He'll wake up in a few hours."

"Good," Vax said. She waited awhile, thinking quietly. It was silent for a long time before she finally said. "Thanks." When she received no reply she turned to see that Dib was fast asleep in Zim's chair. She smiled and curled into Zim, falling into her own sleep mode.

* * *

Hee, yey for Vax! She continues to develop as do Dib and Zim. Rest assured they still hate each other but they both know how boring life would be without the other. It's canon anyways. 

So this is the last dramatic chapter for awhile. Now we get into fluff and cuteness... well as cute as this show can get XD more like twisted cuteness. Hugs and cookies to my reviewers, see ya next chapter!


End file.
